Shafty Fires the Railgun of NEWS at YOU!

By Shafty at February 5th 2003, 12:00 PM 2

It is often difficult to admit one's own limitations. Of course, it is ever worse when somebody else reveals them to the warld.

Shafty Awaits the Inevitable "SHAFTY Got Railgunned" Message of Death. So let's be clear about this: Because Shafty Just Started Playing Quake 3 Arena, Shafty Sucks at Quake 3 Arena. One thing Shafty doesn't suck at is posting content-filled NEWS! Which you will get! From him! ... NOW:

• Eurogamer reviews DOA: Xtreme Beach Volleyball. Suffice it to say, they didn't like it:

  Well, now we've played Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball for a few hours, and the news from the front is not good. In fact, it's downright terrible. From what we have now seen of the game, every single person who dismissed this as shoddy oversexed rubbish when the trailer videos appeared was completely right, although they probably weren't quite vehement enough about just what a load of utter rubbish this "game" actually is. ... In the meantime, quite frankly, if you want porn - buy porn. If you want a videogame - don't buy Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball.

• Argh. It'd be a lot easier to avoid MMORPGs if they stopped making ones that look good. Preview here.
• Attack of the retro remakes! *shakes fist* DIRTY CHEATING MURDARRING SCORPION-- YOU DIE NOW! Wonder if it plays the same music every time you swing over the lake?
• Mmmm.... "in development...." *drools*
• Winner in the "Still Can't Get Over the Fact that My Bandmates Dumped Me Fourteen Years Ago" category: This guy!
• Lounge music that's better than Bill Murray making up lyrics to Star Wars? That's unpossible!
• Ozzfest + ... Chevelles(?) = DEATH! Now, all Ozzfest needs to do is add Anthrax to the lineup, and it'll be worth Shafty's time.

  Sharon Osbourne: *reads Shafty's news post* Ozzy, we need to put Anthrax on the bill! Then this one insignificant guy will come to the show! Ozzy: Mumblemumbleincoherently? Sharon: It's Shafty.... from Pluh.com! Ozzy: "Pluh.com? The internet's #1 source for GUUUHHH? Then Anthrax is a lock!" (translated from Ozzyspeak)

• *reads news link* *tries hard not to snicker* *reads news link again* *fails*
• Valentine's Day candy "for the rest of us."
• "Sorry, I've got to go. I've got to pick up my girlfriend from the school bus."
• Now available to annoy you in the mail and on your television! AOHELL 10.0! With 875,000 hours free in your first 30 days! "You've Got a Bleak Financial Outlook!"
• "I Wish I Were More Like My Online Persona."

SNUUUUH!