Fay Masterson

Written by Gawkman on February 26th 2006, 12:00 AM (

Gawkman reviews one of the most Pluhbabe-worthy Pluhbabes he has ever come across, while trying to not drool all over himself. STUPID HOT FEMALES CAUSING DEHYDRATION!

Gawkman's Final Verdict!

Smile/Face

5/5

So pretty you wanna punch yourself in the face! *punches self in face*

Personality

5/5

After watching her in interviews... oh yeah. This is one cool chick.

Bang Factor

5/5

Give me back my eyeball!

I created this category just to give her another perfect 5.

5/5

Yes, I did. I have never done this before, either.

Overall: 5/5

Agree? Disagree? Impartial? Stupid? Comment on it!

Sweet.

You know, I don't get super excited about Pluhbabes such as this very often. As a matter of fact, I don't think I ever have. Reason? I have found probably the best Pluh-babe ever to date. Why?

1. She's in an awesome slapstick movie
2. She's uber-hot.
3. She's an awesome mix of #1 and #2.
4. She's also a lot of #3.
5. #5 is unrelated to #4.
#4. Hey this was supposed to be #6!

So just who is Fay Masterson? I came across her in an awesome movie called "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra"
which if you haven't seen it, you've GOT TO GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW.

This hilarious movie (which spoofs old black-and-white sci-fi B-movies) casts Fay as a stereotype of a boring housewife who supports her husband, a scientist who is constantly doing science.

But who cares... she's hot, and she's cool because she's in a B-movie that makes fun of B-movies. That's all you need to know. She was in it, she said she loved doing it in an interview, she has to be cool as hell. So, being the best Pluhbabe I've ever seen, I have to in turn do the dumbest made-up-dialogue that I have ever done. This is important. *takes a deep breathe, meditates for a few minutes, then begins*

Gawkman: So, Fay... I noticed that you are incredibly hot. Good for you.
Fay: Yep.
Gawkman: It's very good that you are hot, because it inspires me to actually do my job on Pluh.com.
Fay: Yep.
Gawkman: ... is that all you're going to say?
Fay: IF WE LIVED ON JUPITER OUR BODIES WOULD CRUSH UNDER THEIR OWN WEIGHT BECAUSE THE GRAVITATIONAL PULL IS LIKE TEN TIMES AS STRONG AS IT IS HERE ON EARTH!
Gawkman: Yep.
Fay: Yep.
Gawkman: Yep.
Fay: Yep. I mean, HAVE SEX WITH ME!!!
Gawkman: Yes, this foreplay tires me as well! Step into my bedroom.
Fay: Hey, this isn't a bedroom, it's not even a room, it's your front yard.
Gawkman: Well, I had to check the mail first.
Fay: Oh.
Gawkman: Okay, NOW we're in the bedroom.
Fay: Your bedroom looks like the living room.
Gawkman: Yeah, that's because I'm currently living with a friend and crashing on the couch.
Fay: I see.
Gawkman: Yes.
Fay: I once did that, except that I didn't sleep on my roomates couch, I slept on a big pile of nails.
Gawkman: Nails? Did it hurt?
Fay: Naw, it's actually more comfortable than it sounds. If you want something that really hurts, try THIS!
*pulls out Gawkman's eyeball*
Gawkman: AHHHHHHHH!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW INCREDIBLY PAINFUL THIS IS!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Fay: HAHA, gotcha! Made you think I was gonna have sex with you then pulled out your eyeball!
Gawkman: Damnit, I should have seen that one coming. Speaking of SEEING, can I see you NAKED?
Fay: SURE! *takes off clothes*
Gawkman: HAHA! I can see your BELLYBUTTON!
Fay: Well, I can see your PUPIL!
Gawkman: Well, I can see your KIDNEY!
Fay: Huh?
Gawkman: *rips her left kidney out*
Fay: AHHHHHHHHHHH!! OHHHHHHHH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! MY ORGANS!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Gawkman: Gotcha back. The old "make-you-think-I'm-gonna-pull-your-eyeball-out-and-instead-go-for-the-kidney" gag!
Fay: I guess that makes us even. Oh, by the way, sex?
Gawkman: Yes, I almost forgot!
*sexual intercourse with like, 2 billion orgasms or something*