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Movies

Movies are great! 'Specially with boobays. Actually, if a boobays don't have movie, we get dyslexic.

A Beautiful Mind (9 comments) by Shafty
Shafty finally recovers the long-lost movie review he submitted that earned him his EDITAR position. Pay attention, would-be editars. Oh, and Gawkman... duck.
1.5 User Rating
American Pie 2 (13 comments) by Rawrb
Kayn goes nuts an thangs after watching American Pie II. Here is the release! Er...result!
2.6 User Rating
Blade: Trinity (6 comments) by Murph
Wesely Snipes returns for his third and "final" Blade movie.
4 User Rating
Constantine (4 comments) by PsiNyde
Look here! Yeah you. HAWR HAR HAWHAHAH..made you look. Well, while you're here, check out my review of Constantine.
4 User Rating
Dracula 2000 (4 comments) by Rawrb
I AM DRACULA AND I AM A STUPID GUY WHO WANTS TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD THAT CONTAINS PLASMA, RED BLOOD CELLS (THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE) AND WHITE BLOOD CELLS! THIS MAKES ME EVIL!
3 User Rating
Drumline (140 comments) by Gawkman
Occasionally, movies about a specific topic based on a distorted Hollywood perception can sometimes be more entertaining than an actual good movie. This is one of those occasions.
3.5 User Rating
Eurotrip (11 comments) by Murph
Murph gets to go to a stupid advance screening and reviews the suprizingly funny generic teen comedy, Eurotrip!
4.1 User Rating
Fantastic Four (8 comments) by Murph
Another comic book movie; Fantastic Four, does stuff that stuff and then I describe the review of the movie. HTML.
4.3 User Rating
Final Fantasy - The Spirits Within (1 comments) by Rawrb
Kayn reviews the movie based on the Final Fantasy video game series. Wow! It's another crossover! Where are my pants?!
4.5 User Rating
Hannibal (3 comments) by Rawrb
The sequel to The Silence of the Lambs. Pretty damn crazy, and uh, *BARF*
5 User Rating
Hellboy (8 comments) by Gawkman
Once again, a movie that looks really cool somehow ends up not being so! That's all I have time to say... back to kicking myself in the ass for thinking a movie would actually live up to the hype.
3 User Rating
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (6 comments) by Murph
Murph reviews the newest of Kevin Smith's "Jersey Saga"
4.5 User Rating
Jurassic Park III (0 comments) by Rawrb
Smart raptors, big dinos, stupid blonde chick, smart Grant, a parachute, and a candy bar. What do these things have in common? No, YOUR MOM! Your mom is so fat, when a T-Rex eats her, it becomes really FULL! OOH!
4 User Rating
Kung Pow! (12 comments) by Gawkman
Gawkman reviews what most will probably refer to as the stupidest movie of all time. I liked it, too.
4.5 User Rating
Lord of the Rings (8 comments) by Rawrb
Kayn drags his sweet honey thang to a movie-poo, and yes, he watched it. Because it was Lord of the Rings, the biggest movie to ever hit the dorks and nerds across TEH WARLD!
4.4 User Rating
Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers (11 comments) by Rawrb
A year later, with even more anticipation in the air. After numerous trailers, lots of hype, and watching Fellowship a gazillion jillion times, this sequel had a lot to live up to.
4.9 User Rating
Lord Of the Rings: Return of the King (6 comments) by Gawkman
Gawkman man reviews the movie! He never read the books! He's a loser!
4.4 User Rating
Matrix Revolutions (4 comments) by Shafty
Oh no! Hollywood marketed as "blockbuster" a movie that makes us think! Run away, all you misled brain-dead film critics, to your sheltered life of ghey appliance secks!
4.3 User Rating
Memento (2 comments) by Gawkman
I'm going to tattoo my grocery list to my knee.
0.3 User Rating
Panic Room (2 comments) by Rawrb
What do you get when you buy a house in New York where there is a room that is encased in steel and has thingys with TV MONITARS to watch your house? If you answered 'Orange Mushrooms,' you need to clip your toenails.
3.2 User Rating
Planet of the Apes (0 comments) by Rawrb
I hate monkey jokes. I won't bother with stupid monkey jokes by putting them in this review description. It's monkey time! ...shit.
Red Dragon (3 comments) by Rawrb
Hannibal Lecter! Err...LECTAR! Yes, teh prequel to Silence of the Lambs (called Red Dragon) is out and about, with lots of crazy and blarg! Do you fear being eaten? Do you jump at crazy surprising thingys? SHUT UP!
3.5 User Rating
Resident Evil (8 comments) by Murph
Evil review of evil proportions! Movie is so evil! Who is currently residing at this residence? ...EVIL!
2.5 User Rating
Saw (8 comments) by Murph
Ooo! A new Halloween-time spooky movie! I hope there's candy!
4.3 User Rating
Shaun of the Dead (2 comments) by Rawrb
Described as, "A Romantic Comedy... with ZOMBIES!" Can it get any better? No, I don't think it can.
4 User Rating
Signs (5 comments) by Gawkman
Gawkman reviews the movie Signs. WHAT WAS THAT SOUND? *blows hole in computer monitor with shotgun*. Oh, it was just the copymachine...
2 User Rating
Six-String Samurai (5 comments) by Murph
What do Elvis, cavemen, astronaughts, bowlers, Death, gumballs, cannibals, windmills, spinach monsters, The German Army, samurai swords, ghetto midgets and ratchets all have in common? Star Wars! No... wait, I mean, Six-String Samurai!
5 User Rating
Spider-Man 2 (10 comments) by Murph
The sequel to "Mask of Zorro" is finally here! That's right! Mask of Zorro 2: Spider-Man 2!
5 User Rating
Star Wars Episode II (6 comments) by Rawrb
Well, much waiting. Actually, NOTHING BUT WAITING. STUPID! After the somewhat good, yet vividly attrocious Episode I, CAPTAIN GEORGE LUCAS steps forward with a sequal prequal! OOH!
4.4 User Rating
TEHminem the MOVIE! (4 comments) by Mr. Teh
Mr. Eminem Shady comes outTEHwith the best movie of all time. It has lusTEH and betrayal and action and exciTEHment and romance and rapping and zombie dinosaur ninjas!
3.2 User Rating
The 6th Day (0 comments) by Rawrb
Woa, my first 'critic' session. Maybe someone will start paying me a gazillion-jillion DOLLARS for reviewing their stupid movies! BAHAH! Those fools!
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (3 comments) by Gawkman
Gawkman and Murph go see a movie. I think it was called OMG LOOK OUT FOR THOSE FALLING ROCKS NO WAIT IT WAS HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY STUPID!
2.5 User Rating
The New World (3 comments) by Rawrb
John Smith meets Poke-her-hontas, har har. Wait, wasn't there another animated movie that told this story? Oh well. I suppose stories needs to be told over and over again this day and age, some with more violence and drama. And Colin Farrel.
Tomb Raider (0 comments) by Murph
An pretty good video game movie!! Was it possible? It has more action, excitement, danger, and boobies than any Indiana Jones movie! Well, actually none of those except for the last one... but that's ok! Boobies!
Torque (3 comments) by Rawrb
The creators of the "smash hits" known as "The Fast and the Furious" and it's cleverly named sequel, "2 Fast 2 Furious," bring to us the motorcycle drama/racing/crapfest known as "Torque."
3.1 User Rating
Vertical Limit (1 comments) by Murph
Murph, our random editor, manages to make words come together to form sentences that critique Vertical Limit. BLoogar!